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Thursday, January 28, 2010

State Of The Nation

by Findalis of Monkey in the Middle

Book of Obama:  Chapter 10


e placed The Holy Suit and Tie once again upon His body, and ascended once again to the Dome.  There the assembled chapter of the Congress, the Holy Justices of the land, the members of the anointed Cabinet and guests from near and far sat awaiting His words.  Unlike the year before, He wasn't popular.  Every plan, every idea He had, was rejected by the people.

"We do not want your Cap and Trade, Health Care, or other Moonbat ideas.  Your bowing down to dictators, despots and tyrants around the world does not put us at ease You have apologized to everyone for all the supposed evils that we were suspected of doing.  You are getting ready to destroy our laws, by declaring the Holy Document invalid.  We have heard enough lies from you, your dogs Emanuel, Axelrod, Pelosi and Reid.  We've heard them all and we've learned a couple of things."

The Anointed One just smiled and then addressed the Nation:

short year ago I took office, but that is just a breeze in time.  Look back upon our Founding Fathers, our struggles during the Civil War, the Depression.  We did not flounder or despair.  Nor did we despair through out the struggles of the Civil Rights Movement.  And I will not despair now.

For I inherited a bad economy that was shaken to its core.  I opposed all of the bailouts done, for I saw the harm they will do.  My stimulus plan has created jobs in teaching, rescue, construction and other sectors.

We need Health Care now!  I demand Congress to pass.  Cap and Trade too.  Forget about the Holy Document.  There is too much to do.

I am a man of the people, representative of the Middle Class, My values are the same as yours.  I love this country so much I would never bad name it.  But we did wrong with the Muslim world, and other places too.  I said to them I am sorry, there is nothing you can do.

I said I would create jobs, and that I will do.  For every man and woman.  New industries, new factories, Red, White, Blue, and Green.  We must compete with China, Korea, and Germany too.  This we must excel in if we are going to continually survive.

I will eliminate the nukes of the world, starting with our own.  For did not the Great Reagan of old try to achieve this very goal.

People through out the land write to Me with their problems.  A businessman in Denver*, or in Philadelphia, a teacher in the city, the cop on the beat, a child who wants to know why Mommy and Daddy lost their jobs, another who just lost his home.  I read all their letters, I know all their problems, and I will solve them all.

I could go on all night, but that will do no good at all.  I promised you Hope and Change, and did not lie to you on that, for I am not President #43.

And after The Anointed One had finished His speech, His  followers were full of glee.  For they just knew that once again He had saved the day.

But from right across the river, from the city of Richmond in the land of Virginia, came a new prophet from the right.  Bob The Wise McDonnell.
The Prophet spoke of those with a job, how 1 in 10 lost theirs.
He spoke of the despair the nation felt, of how the economy  was gone.
He spoke of the need for smaller government, how The Anointed One did spend.
He said that the time for spending cuts and freezes were last year, not when your polling number has shown you have failed.

The Prophet McDonnell told the people that it isn't too late.
That the time has come to sit and wait,
So The Anointed One could not shove His agenda down our throats.

He told the assembled people and media the truth.
And our solutions aren't 1,000-page bills that no one has fully read,
After being crafted behind closed doors with special interests.
In fact, many of our proposals are available online at, and we welcome your ideas on Facebook and Twitter.

He told them this and more.
 And through it all, the world went on, the nation will endure.

The GOP got Teddy's seat, they can get more they will.
For the people have seen the truth, heard the lies and broken promises.
Unlike those on the left, the right will not just yell.
They are the ones, in Midterm years, come out in droves to vote.

Reid, Frank and Boxer, plus many more are running scared tonight.
For the GOP has the will, the drive and the clout,
To drive the Moonbats back into the dark.

We just have to wait for November to do it!

The President mentioned many people in his speech, but none by name, nor did he recognize any of them in the balcony (he only recognized his wife).  Could it be they are all named:  Ellie Light?