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Friday, February 17, 2012

I Laughed Mr. Freiss- Aspirin Between Knees And Other So-Called Politically Incorrect Wives Tales

By Susan Duclos

Foster Freiss, the very wealthy business man backing Rick Santorum's campaign efforts, used a very old well-known wives tale as a joke and the cannibals of the Internet lost what little minds they have left by taking offense.

Back in my day, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.
Oh the manufactured outrage over a simple comment!!!

So, Mr. Friess has taken to his blog to apologize:

Last week my joke at the Conservative Political Action Conference generated laughter and media attention. Today on Andrea Mitchell’s show, my aspirin joke bombed as many didn’t recognize it as a joke but thought it was my prescription for today’s birth control practices. In fact, the only positive comments I got were from folks who remembered it from 50 years back. Birth control pills weren’t yet available, so everyone laughed at the silliness on how an aspirin could become a birth control pill.

After listening to the segment tonight, I can understand how I confused people with the way I worded the joke and their taking offense is very understandable. To all those who took my joke as modern day approach I deeply apologize and seek your forgiveness. My wife constantly tells me I need new material—she understood the joke but didn’t like it anyway—so I will keep that old one in the past where it belongs.

Note to Foster Friess: I laughed Mr. Friess because it brought back fond memories of my mother, may she rest in peace, telling me the very same thing...oh and I am not 50 yet!!! heh

"If you hold a aspirin between your legs you wont get pregnant."

Too much political correctness in the world today when old well-known expressions that our parents used to say to us, are now being treated like it is a crime to mention them in any way, shape of form, even in a joke.

Good luck to you with the cannibals out there.

Note to Cannibals: Click over to 13 most popular wives tales at, scroll to the bottom listed under "13 and a few more" and notice that the aspirin one is there along with others that today would be politically incorrect.

13. And a few more.

If your nose is itching, someone is talking about you.

If your hand is itching, that means you are about to get money.

If an Atkins diet won't work, your only solution is a Medifast Diet.

A cat will steal your baby’s breath if you let them near a newborn.

If you cross your eyes, they will get stuck.

If you hold a aspirin between your legs you wont get pregnant.

If you keep making an ugly face its going to stay that way.

Touching a toad will give you warts.

Drinking coffee will stunt your growth.

For African-Americans, drinking black coffee will make you darker.

Eating bread crust would make your hair curly

If a woman’s carrying low, it’s a boy; if she’s carrying high, it’s a girl.

A bat in the house is a sign of a death.

When you see a funeral procession go by, you have to make the sign of the cross or someone in your family will be next.

A dog howling at night when someone in the house is sick is a bad sign

Step on a crack will break your mothers back.

Knock on wood so you don’t jinx yourself.

If it rains on your wedding day, you'll cry plenty of tears throughout your marriage.

If you cannibals have to pick on someone, pull out your Ouija boards, call up the spirits of those that created the wives tales and have at it, but leave Mr. Friess alone.