Monkey in the Middle
Book of Obama Chapter 17
And it came to pass that on the 21th day of the month of January. (The 20th being the day of the Sabbath [Christian] and a celebration of this magnitude is not permitted.) At a time when all is dead and dying. The Anointed One retook the High Office. This being over 2 months since the Anointed One defeated the Good Romney. Amid the hosts of Heaven, singing the mantra FOWARD, The Anointed One started his trip down the Avenue of Pennsylvania towards the Dome of the Capital.
Unlike the last time The Anointed One took this trip, the multitude did not chant: "Hope, Change." In fact, the multitude assembled was quiet lessened from 4 years ago.
Upon the steps of the Dome of the Capital, amid the assorted assemblage of the chapter of the Congress, Biden the Bungler was sworn as the lessor. Then the Holy Chief of Justice, John of Roberts, given his office by Bush the Lessor, came forward to invest upon the Anointed One the mantle of office.
And after this holy act, the musicians played, and the assembled multitude cheered in triumph. And there was great rejoicing.
The Anointed One, renewed as the Wearer of the Mantle of Power, stood before the assembled and spoke.
So many have gathered here to witness My Awesomeness.And after the speech He went into the Dome, to feast on seafood, beef and apples.
I have quoteth Jefferson, but we all know that I am the creator of all.
Patriots of old threw off the tyranny of King George III, for a republic now headed by Me.
As a nation we threw off slavery, built a modern nation, saved a world from tyranny twice.
But today we as a nation cannot do any of this. We must remind ourselves that we are but one nation of many, nothing extraordinary, nothing special. To thrive in this world we must join into a collective.
I have ended the wars of the last decade. Not in victory but our troops will be coming home to their families. Victory is not important. Muslims will always be the victors with Me.
I will destroy the Republicans, the rich and the middle class. They must be demonized and driven into poverty. This does not apply to My friends in Hollywood. Whose propaganda not only helped My reelection but continues to promote My message to the people.
I will keep promoting the myth that a poor child can grow up to have a better life. But the truth is that the poor child needs to remain poor, ill educated, and voting Democrat. For the the poor ever come to realize that if they supported the Republicans and their economic and moral ideas, they would leave our side faster than a speeding bullet.
It is through My will that welfare and other entitlements will increase to the poor. For every poor person will have:
Free Food, Free Healthcare, Free MoneyThis I give the masses.
It is through My will that the military will be destroyed. I have decreed that we do not need so many fighting men and women.
The guns that I hate (Actually fear) will be taken (by force) from the people. It is through My will, My power that you will be safe.
This nation under My benevolent guidance, will support the democracies around the world. The democracies in Asia, Africa and the Mid East will get My support and care. But not the true democracy run by the Jews. For they are an evil people who stole the land they live on from the Muslims. It is through My will that gay men and women will be given more rights than others.
Through My will, free elections in this nation will be a thing of the past. I will transform this nation into a larger version of Detroit. Thus the nation will be transformed through My will.
This I swear in the name of Allah.
Then the bands played and the multitude cheered as the parade marched. The Anointed One watched and blessed them all.
The great and the mighty danced the night away. Secure in the dogma of liberal and socialism.
To the rest of the nation while some actual hope. The rest of pray:
God Save Us All.