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Friday, August 10, 2007

Thoughts and Feelings From an Army Wife

Army Wife comments here from time to time and brings us an unique view into the military spouses thoughts and emotions, especially in a time of war.

I have often told her that any time she wished to say something, to have her voice heard, Wake up America will publish those words happily.

She sent me an email today and with full permission granted to pubish it, here are the thoughts and feelings from an Army Wife:

Spree,
You had said a month ago or so, after the hillary asking the Pentagon to release information episode, that if I had anymore thoughts from this spouses side of the fence to let you know.

I do occasionally write things to help me through the rough spots. The first one is old, I was writing it when my husband walked in and told me they had received their orders.

The second was written during pre-deployment blues while trying to deal with emotions and the outside world. They're not political or pro-war or anti-war. They are just emotions put into words, that I have been able to draw strength from and make me proud to be a part of the military community. I think we draw a lot from the communities that we live in and that tends to color how we think. While we don't always agree on the issues, we still draw strength from each other. The military community is in many ways like a civilian community, we have our own opinions, but we are also very unique in that while we may be democrat, republican or neither we have a common bond that surpasses everything. I think that many in the civilian world have forgotten the common bond that they all share. Maybe if we didn't have to deal with what we are dealing with on an everyday basis we would forget also. I can't say for sure, I have not experienced the military community in a time of peace and I'm not sure that I ever will. Well, I've babbled enough, here are my thoughts. Do with them as you see fit.

When I heard of the 15 month deployment, I was not very pleased to say the least. I was even less pleased that the news was delivered via the media instead of the proper channels.
Having said that, I am thankful that I am not a military wife of WWII.
I am thankful that it is 15 months instead of 3 years.
I am thankful that snail mail moves faster.
I am thankful for the internet that gives us instant communication.
If the military spouses of WWII could do it so can I.
I will endure the hardship.
I will keep my family whole.
I will keep our love alive against impossible odds.
I will be the smiling voice he hears when he calls.
I will be his laughter and his joy when he can find none in the world into which he has been sent.
I will be his sanity, his life line to the world he holds so dear.
I will endure.
I am a Military Wife.
It is my job.





Well, the 4th is over and even though it rained everybody still had BBQ's and went to the fair and watched the fireworks. Everybody got wet but nobody cared because this is the last 4th everyone will spend together for a while.

We all seem to whisper the words so that the children don't hear, but often they do and the array of looks are amazing. The teenagers try to act all tough, the younger ones get a vacant look and seem to sink into themselves and all you can do is hug them because there are just no words. The youngest ones just think that mommy or daddy are going away for a little, but have no concept of the span of time or the danger that their parent is entering into. Many different emotions with the common factors of fear and sadness.

It hangs over the community as we try to squeeze in what might be our last moments together, as we fill out the seemingly endless forms for a reality, which we at the moment wish to deny, as we try to build some memories that may have to last us a lifetime.

The soldiers are bonding, becoming more then what they were. The spouses are reaching out to each other as the inevitable comes closer. But over it all hangs the pall of sadness and fear.

People are more willing to say hi to a stranger or at the least a smile and a nod. Couples hold hands for longer, smile more often, stand closer, grabbing at any and every moment they have left to share. The children are hugged more often, played with more, as the reality of our lives comes back into the light. We tend to hide from the outside world as we grasp onto what we have left of our world, as we try to make memories that, sadly for too many, will be all they have left. As we try to hold on for these last few moments we will let many things slide as unimportant, we know they are important to some, but to us at this time of our lives, when we are trying to escape the inevitable they are not important to us. Selfish? Maybe.

I guess it's all in your perspective. Our perspective is, we are trying to cram as much love and laughter and memories into our families as humanly possible in a very short amount of time, all the while trying to push aside the sadness and fear. Trying to put our own emotions aside because there are other people depending upon you to give them what they need to survive and stay sane.

ArmyWife/(Full name redacted for her privacy-spree)


For those that watch the news, complain about what you see, criticize and claim to "support the troops but not their mission", and continue to quote the "cost" as your justification, listen up.

If those more closely involved than you, those that have much more, personally, at stake than you and those that the cost is far greater than yours to their life's structure, can endure, by what right do you have to complain about the cost to YOU?

Thank you Army wife for sharing this with us.

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